


Searching for Love Again

by seke



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, POV First Person, Selkies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seke/pseuds/seke
Summary: Bansai is eighteen years old and has a dream of working with music. In his free time, he goes to the beach to write songs and there he meets Shinsuke, a Selkie.





	Searching for Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> For BanTaka week: Wednesday - Heartless and hardcore: 3-z / alternate universe. This was inspired by the movie Song of the Sea. I didn't know Selkies before watching it, but then I thought it would be cool to write a BanTaka AU with this setting. Even though Selkies are always female but hey this is just a fic.

I am musician. More precisely, a songwriter. But calling myself that seems wrong. I don't write songs. Rather, I feel like it's the other way around. Songs write me. I exist because music exists.

I hear it everywhere. In trees, in the ocean, in _people_. And people always change,  so do their songs. My job is to capture songs before they change, before they can fade away.

I say this, but in truth, I don't have a job yet. Well, I do have one but it's nothing music-related. I'm a waiter at a casual dining restaurant. It's not a bad job, especially when I need money. _Why do_ _I need money?_ Because I lost his parents early and I'm already eighteen years old. Meaning I need to work so I have a place to live at.

By the way, I share the place with another girl, who, like me, lost her parents. Her name is Matako and we have known each other since we were children. Matako is a couple of years younger than me, but she didn't want to be alone, so she left our old house with me and now we live together. I didn’t mind.

Matako is the closest to a family I will ever have. Oh, but don't misunderstand. She is like a little sister to me. And I think she has a girlfriend because often a girl called Mutsu would show up at our place… but she only came at night and left in the morning, so I assume Matako was trying to hide it from me. Matako is a teenager, so I guess that's natural. Having sex, not making up lies about it. Although I guess that’s natural too.

Even I have had a girlfriend before. Or, I don't know if I should call her that, since we didn't have feelings for each other. It's easy to guess, but she lived in the same house as me and Matako. We didn't like each other, but we did like to make out. It started when we were thirteen and it ended when we were fifteen, because she had found a new home. It was a relief for me. I didn't hate her, but I didn't love her either and being tired of our relationship, the news of not having to see her again sounded great.

In the next year, before I could turn sixteen, I kissed a man for the first time. He was much older than me and wasn't interested in knowing what I liked — except when I was in his bed. He got bored of me and I couldn't blame him. I was bored of him as well. Maybe we both thought it was a mistake.

I didn't date anyone after him. It took me a while, but I finally realized that I wasn't interested in things like that at all. I don’t mean dating, but in dating people I don't know and have no desire to know. I guess people do stupid things when they are lonely.

Now, even though I live with Matako, I barely see her. She is always out with a friend. And when she says the word “friend” it always sounds fake because her eyes shine bright and she smiles a lot and asks me if she looks pretty, if her clothes aren't weird. I'm sure she is always out with that Mutsu girl. And, even if I'm alone all the time, I don't feel lonely anymore. I don't need people. Music is more than enough to keep me going.

I can write songs anywhere. If I'm inspired, I will write, even if I have to write on napkins, and that has happened a lot before. But I do have a favorite place to write in: the beach. Not many people go to that beach, so I have a silent place to write.

Calling it “silent” is wrong, though. I hear the breaking waves, rising and falling apart. I hear the gulls singing. I hear the wind whispering and I hear my own footsteps touching the sand, producing a light melody. I hear my breath that is different from anyone’s, because everyone has their own way of breathing. I wonder if my mother breathed like me, if _I_ breathe like her. I wonder how her song was. I inhale and I exhale. I hear the nature’s song and it is as warm and nurturing as the sand on my feet.

This is not the first nor the last time I come to the beach at night. I sit on the pier and feel the gentle breeze touching my face. I'm holding my notebook and a pen but I didn't write anything yet. I don't know if I can write tonight. It's been almost two hours now, but no matter how much I try, nothing comes.

I close my eyes. If I can't write, then it means I'm not trying hard enough. If I close my eyes, maybe I will hear better.

I hear the waves once again. But nothing comes. I don’t feel inspired. Maybe it's really impossible tonight. And when I think of giving up, I hear a noise.

I open my eyes and I’m shocked with what I see. There are seals on the water. I didn't know seals lived there, so it is a big surprise. When I look at them with attention, I notice one is different.

Unlike the other seals, this one is white. It shines. I am very confused, then, like a dream, the seal transforms into a human. A man.

The man wears a shining white coat and doesn't notice me. I can't believe my own eyes. I can't understand what is happening. Is the creature next to me a human or a seal? Nothing makes sense.

Still not looking at me, the seal man starts singing. His coat and the moonlight look like they are fighting to see who is brighter, but when he sings, everything begins to shine.

I am speechless. _Yes_ , I think, _I found my song._

But the man isn't singing for me. He isn't singing for me and he isn't singing for anyone. His song is in a language I don't know and even if I can't understand the lyrics, I can _feel_ it. He just sings for the sake of singing.

When the song ceases, I leave the pier and run to the beach. The man looks like he is ready to leave and go back to the ocean, so I shout.

“Wait!”

The man looks at me. He is surprised too, I guess he didn't expect someone to appear at the beach so late at night.

What should I tell him? I guess I will tell him that his song is beautiful.

“Your,” I say, even though I am so nervous I can barely think. The man looks at me, curious and I lose my mind.

“Your…” I repeat. “You’re beautiful.”

Realizing what I said, I panick. I wish I had something to cover my face with. My hands are too busy gesturing something in a hurry. Actually, I am moving them in embarrassment.

“No, I mean…” I try to explain myself, but I can't. It is true, after all. His hair is as dark as the night sky, he is short and not just his coat, but _he_ looks like he is made of stars. He is beautiful.

The man is astonished. At first he seems surprised, but when I open my mouth to let him know that that isn't what I mean, that I am talking about his song, even though that is a lie, he smiles.

Something breaks inside me. I know the man has some sort of power, but I didn’t expect him to attack my heart. Yes, that is magic, it has to be magic.

Is he a mermaid—I mean, a _merman_? I remember hearing somewhere that mermaids seduce men only to drown them after. He can drown me. I wouldn't mind. I would let this man do anything he wants, destroy me or destroy the world or whatever. I wouldn't stop him.

He opens his mouth and I am ready to listen to whatever he has to say. But he doesn't say anything. Instead, he sings again.

Opposing to his first song, he isn't singing in a mysterious language. In truth, he isn't singing in _any_ language, there is no word in his song, only his breathtaking voice and a melody. He is looking at me. He is  _singing_ for me.

I try to get closer, walking towards the man. He stops singing, as if waiting for me. Then, when my feet touch the water, he begins to sing once more.

“So, how was it? It's the first time I sing for a human,” the man asks me.

“I am glad,” I say. “I wouldn't want to share your voice with anyone.”

Suddenly, a pair of judgmental green eyes stare at me.

“So they didn't lie when they said humans are selfish,” he says, looking amused. “How can you feel jealous of something that doesn't belong to you?”

 _But it will belong to me_ , I think but don't say. Instead, I ask:

“They?”

Who are _they_? Who is he talking about?

“My people.” The man smiles, looking at the sea. “The selkies.”

“The selkies?” I ask.

“The children of the sea.”

 _The children of the sea?_ That doesn't answer my question. And to be honest, that's only the first of the many things I want to ask. So I try again.

“What are selkies? And who—what's your name?”

For a moment, I think the man is going to get angry at me. He says nothing, thinking about something and I fail to read his expression.

“You,” he says in a rude manner but I know he is not being hostile. “Would you know what to say if someone suddenly asked what humans are?”

He laughs and now I know why he thought my question was stupid. Still, I won't give up. I explain to him.

“Humans…” the word leaves my mouth before I can think of what to say. “... Are very unique creatures. They all have their own kind of sound. It can be noisy, heavy,  harmonious, elegant. It doesn't matter. It’s different for everyone.”

The man is looking at me as I speak but I don't mind him and keep going.

“Human feelings are difficult to explain. They can be good, but sometimes they are not. They can be ugly and dangerous, but I think… that's what make us humans.”

By the time I stop talking, I'm exhausted. The man is smiling, so I take that he enjoyed what I said.

“I guess humans and selkies are the same, then,” he says.

Before I can make another question, he continues.

“Selkies turn feelings into song and songs into feelings. But we need our coats, or else we have no voices,” he explains.

“We spend some time in the sea and some time in the human land. We are part of both words.”

“That's—You—” I try to say something to express my surprise. But the man doesn't let me.

“Shinsuke,” he says. “That's my name. Will you tell me your name, human?”

“... Shinsuke,” I repeat, testing his name.

“Shinsuke,” I say, this time to get his attention. “My name is Bansai.”

“Bansai, huh?” he says, with a tiny smile forming on his lips.

He walks away, going back to the sea.

“See you.”

I want to tell him to stay, that I'm curious and want to know everything about him, but as I open my mouth, Shinsuke puts on his hood, turns back into a seal and jumps in the water.

He disappears and I stay a while in the sand, before going home and falling asleep. Then, the next morning, I wonder if everything was a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to give this fic a proper ending and I decided I don't want to rush, so I will write more when I'm less stressed and give it a good ending. I want to write more Matako and more Mutsu too, but for now I'm not tagging them so no one comes read this and get disappointed heh. I wanna write more so I can develop them more too, because they don't sound 100% IC for me, but they willTM. It's just that writing an AU is hard. Anyways, the title of the chapter is from a song by IDOLiSH7 pls support them


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